today ...my never c before cousin came ...

feel so bad that i could not reach the airport in time to pick her up ... that stupid officer .... so unreason ... forced to stay there and finished all the stuffs before letting me off ... since passed up and join the current place i am in now .. i have never taken any day off .. and i always work on my off days and yet ... u just could not let me off to pick someone back from the airport .. even she is the 1st time in singapore

then why should i work like a regule when most of the regules work like NSF ....so unfair .... i am so unhappy ... they can get their offs when they need it .. and i have to wait for the vacancy ... we all r SGT ... but why is there a difference ... !!! just that they r regules and i am NSF ??!

Bridge Night

tonight ... me, t-rex, lili and vy all went to the TCC at raffles place and played bridge there ... after stopped for a long times ... it felt so good .. felt just like back to the old time ... where i still dun have the work stress and unjustice like wat i have now ....

even though ... i lost my way there and walked all the way to Lau Pa Sar .... before i realised the mistake and turn back ... haha ... this is the biggest joke ever

it just too bad that i have duty next day and could not stay there till 2am in the morning ....next week ba .. or the week after next ... hopefully it will come sooner

wat i want ??

"wat do i actually want?" this is the question i have kept asking myself lately .... really ..... nowadays .. my life is only work and work and work and then rest ....

i am thinking ... if ... i mean "if" ... (touch wood) if there is really one day ... i die at home .... there might be nobody knows about that .. untill few days later my body start to decompose ... my neighbour smell the strange smell ... then they will call SCDF for forcible entry ... then my body will finally be found .... if this is true ... how pathetic my life is ..... hahah

anyway ... i think wat i want is a person ... who really cares about me ..... who can talk to me just about anything ...(prefer a gal ... course i am obviously not a gay ... guy and guy talking daily ... this just sounds too gay) ... how i wish that one day ... when i open the door of my home ... there will be someone who is close to smile at me and say ... "hey, u r back" "oh ~~ u r early today oh" or "wat made u so late today" .....

guess i am kind of sick of staying alone .... hahaha

Dragon Boat Festival

today is the annual Dragon Boat Festival again ... this is also another festival that i used to called "rice dumplings festival" when i was small ... cause this day usually meant nothing much to me except for my favorite dumplings when i was small ... i would just keep eating it one by one once my gradmum had made it ...

talking about my favorite dumplings ... this reminds me exactly 1 year ago when i was coming back from taiwan ... "her" mum gave me lots of dumplings cause she told her mum that i like it .... time really past fast ... just less than a year ....she and me are just like strangers to each other ...sigh ~~~ i am getting emotional again ... after half year ... it will means so much to me ... i think .. getting a new gf can help me to forget ... but how to have one when i dun even have time to rest .... hahaha ~~~

anyway .. i got receive a good news today ... my grandmum finally discharged from hospital ... even though i am not sure if she is still as healthy as she used to be .... but i will pray for her ...cause ... i almost spent all my earlier years with her ....she had taken care of me for such a long time ...i will hope to have her around forever ....

today ... in chinese tradition ... family will reunion just like the lunar new year ... even though i am alone here ... but still i wish all the best to all my families ... all my friends and all the people i know ...

lost...

last night ... during my duty .. a rare call from my mum ...i knew there was something even before i picked up the call ... but never did i expect that would be such a bad news

my grandmum is in the hospital for days ....from my mum's voice .. i know she was trying to cover her saddness ...so did i ...

i just felt so lost ...a person who used to be the one who always at my side when i was small ... slp with me, brought me around, bought me toys and snacks that my parents did not allow me to have ... is just like everyone else ... start getting old ...and i cannot do anything but staying here ... cannot even go back, c her and just simply ask her if she is feeling well

how much i hope that my ORD date is just within next few days ...

GOD ... pls pls ...let her recover well and back to an energentic grandmum like the one i always have.....

disappointed ... heart pain ah ..

when i heard he said that i have not been doing any work ... my heart was once more in pain after the breaking up late last year .... how could u say this !!!

yea ... how could u say this to me ... when i was the only one doing all the work .. all the other people could c that .. and yet u just could not c it ...was it because i am quite so u never found out ... or u r too busy to notice my work ... or u just simply have pre-justice with chinese (even though i dun like people to think that i am a chinese too ... hahah)!!

i was the one who went back to work during off days .. and the one stayed after office hours ... and yet ... u r saying the other guy is working more than me ... haha thats the biggest joke ever...

i can only say ...all his work .......come from his mouth !!

maybe this is the real working world .... but i am just fulfilling my national liability ....why working my heart and soul out ...?? cause its me ...i was born like this .. wat to do ... cause i always beleive the justice will always come at the end

hopefully ....

tml ... i will have to work again

kind of tired of this kind of shift work ... 24hrs work 48hrs off sounded so good at 1st .. but now then i realised that not slping at night is actually a suffering for me ... i rather do office hr work now ...

last night .... the usual gang gathered at my home except for the poor boy, weili who was somewhere in the sea ... but we did not have steamboat as wat we had planned to have ... instead we just bought the food from down stairs ... and they said ... the food r nt nice at all ... well well ....i have nothing to say ... actually i have been missing the home cook food lately ... guess i have been eating outside food for a long time ... especially the malay food ...i think some of my friends will start to laugh at me when they see this .... well .. i got no choice ma .. unless u people want to bring the food to me to my station

emm ... think need to go to bed lor ... need to work tml .....

Wang's 2nd win ..

i was so nervous when i watch his shaky 1st inning pitch ... however credit must go to him for settling down fast and started a super pitching from 2nd inning onwards all the way to 6th inning ... through out this period none of the Seattle batter could reach 1st base ... not even the so call the "best batter in the world" Ichiro

he proved once again that he is really a world class pitcher ... but somehow .. i am not as emotional as i was during his 1st win ... maybe he was not in the home ground this time ... or just maybe i am not in good mood

Why !! Why !! Why !!

Why am i stupid enough to look at a pic that i know its going to hurt myself ...

just saw the pic of she and he ... just like a bullet went through my brain ... even though i have known who he is from her friends ...

"why did u choose him ??"

the same old question started to trouble me again .... choosing anyone else would make me feel better ... cause i dun c anything from him that is better than me ... nothing ... nothing ... just nothing at all ...

maybe ... just maybe ... she just needs someone to acompany ... and i am just not there .....

i am comforting myself again .....

strange duty day ...

my 1st duty in the fire post .. i think i have just made the record of being on duty at firepost as soon as i did my 4th duty as a new firefighter ... hahah .. i am a record holder

wat calls did i have yesterday ... emm ... due to my directives .. i cant tell too much here on the net openly ... unless u guys want to c me end up in detention barrack .... ask me in face ba .. my dear friends ...

well ... almost forget that i got my 1st rank pay already ... hahah ~~~ so much money ... ho ho ho ... now i really feel like a real Seargent now

Tiger Wang's Best Moment, His 1st Win in MLB

Bottom of 8th inning, 1 out, Beltre line a single to center, all six of Yankees infielders huddled on the mound around our taiwanese star Wang to show their appreciation of his 7+ innings of excellent pitching. It was so touching to see superstars like A-Rod, Flaherty, and Jeter hanging around Wang to show their support to him. Then it was manager Joe Torre's term to show his approval by patting on Wang's back before handing the ball to the reliever. As Wang walked off the mound towards the dugout, the capacity crowd at Yankees Stadium gave Wang a standing ovation, all 40,000+ of them. What a scene! What a moment for Taiwan! It was a touching moment indeed. I am sure I would have shed some tears if I was there watching the game in person. Who could have dreamed that such a day would dawn when a pitcher from Taiwan can outduel the best hitters in the world, including Ichiro while earning the respect of players like A-Rod, Jeter, Matsui, Johnson, and millions of fans around the world. This is the best publicity for Taiwan. Now more Americans recognize Wang's name than President Chen Shui-Ban's name. Now even the Japanese would know Wang's name because he stole the spotlight from Ichiro vs. Godzilla. Now I can be proud cause there are two Taiwanese pitchers who can pitch in the highest arena of the baseball world and getting good results at the same time. Not wasting my effort to wake up so early to watch the game during my off day.

3 duties so far

yea .. till the latest duty .. i have already done 3 duties ... but yet to attend any real fire incident yet ... haha ... dunno if i have to call myself lucky or unlucky

saw something happening to my man during the duty which also happened to me few months ago .... suddenly ...i realised that i have actually over it ... even though .. i am still thinking that ~~


u could have said "NO", but u did not

u could have resisted it, but u did not

u could have just turned around and walked away from him, but u just did not

so all the promises all these years r actually mean nothing to u

then why should i still be so stubborn to try to get back a heart that is no longer belongs to me


anyway ... like wat i have said ... its all over ....

went out with ivy,daoxian and weili last night .. the usual old good friends ... did trouble them for searching some red venga sheet which we never ever managed to find .. haah ... luckily they never complained to me ....

they r always so nice ... ahha ...

my 1st day at work ...

guess wat ... i reported at the HQ at 8 am in the morning with other rota mates and spent all the way till 5pm just to fill a 2 page forms,completed an interview and collected our personal equipments ... by the time i reached to my station ... the office hr has already over ... hahah ...thats really funny .. cause i thought i would be knowing my shift today ... but sigh ~~ at least ... i am able to be here to write my blog

finally sent the letter to patpat lor ... duno when she will receive it .... hope to hear from here soon ...hahah

went to the Fish and Co last night with my camp mates .... 2nd time in a week ... that place is simply expensive ... ahhah .. but the food is not bad ...cause i like fish ma ...

got receive the message from patpat late at night .... so touched ... hahah ..

dun really know how to spend my one week holiday ... i cant go anywhere except for staying in singapore ....sad ... sad

Finally ... Finally .. i have passed out lor !!!

HaahAhha.. Dad came to c my POC ....

but unfortunately ... i was posted to the station i dislike the most ... Sembawang .. Sigh ~~~ looked like i wun be having the relaxing time in firestation in the years to come .... never mind .... work hard ba .....just 1 and half year left anyway ....

jsut 2 more days ... it will be my Passing Out Ceremony ...

soon i will get my rank and fire badge ... even though the person who is going to put them on is my dad instead of the person i wished to be 6 months ago

lots of feelings r inside to me now .... till now then i realised that 6 months r actually a short time ... IPPT gold is actually not difficult to get ...12 pull ups is not impossible to have...jumping down from 8 floor high ... so much things that i wanted to prove to u that i can do but today its no longer matter to u

suddenly i just feel wats going to do next ... in the fire station or as an instructor....

i myself dunno ... lets c wat posting i get 1st ba .... hopefully i DUN get sembawang fire station ...... hahha ...

after almost a year ... i finally back to here

actually after my 1st blog .. never expected that i would be coming back to write anything again ... hahah

suddenly have a feeling that so much things have changed over the past one year...like HK and paul r almost no longer in contact .. patpat went to australia ... lost a good friend ...and i am also kind of lost my direction now .. duno wat to do next ... the goals in the past r no longer important to me now

maybe .. maybe just like wat she had said to me ... its pointless to look back ... i have to look forward to find my goals again ....

i am trying very hard now ...trying hard to rediscover my goals again ...

HaHaHa ...

guys .. this is my 1st ever blog posting oh.....

Yei yei ...!!