today ...my never c before cousin came ...

feel so bad that i could not reach the airport in time to pick her up ... that stupid officer .... so unreason ... forced to stay there and finished all the stuffs before letting me off ... since passed up and join the current place i am in now .. i have never taken any day off .. and i always work on my off days and yet ... u just could not let me off to pick someone back from the airport .. even she is the 1st time in singapore

then why should i work like a regule when most of the regules work like NSF ....so unfair .... i am so unhappy ... they can get their offs when they need it .. and i have to wait for the vacancy ... we all r SGT ... but why is there a difference ... !!! just that they r regules and i am NSF ??!

Bridge Night

tonight ... me, t-rex, lili and vy all went to the TCC at raffles place and played bridge there ... after stopped for a long times ... it felt so good .. felt just like back to the old time ... where i still dun have the work stress and unjustice like wat i have now ....

even though ... i lost my way there and walked all the way to Lau Pa Sar .... before i realised the mistake and turn back ... haha ... this is the biggest joke ever

it just too bad that i have duty next day and could not stay there till 2am in the morning ....next week ba .. or the week after next ... hopefully it will come sooner

wat i want ??

"wat do i actually want?" this is the question i have kept asking myself lately .... really ..... nowadays .. my life is only work and work and work and then rest ....

i am thinking ... if ... i mean "if" ... (touch wood) if there is really one day ... i die at home .... there might be nobody knows about that .. untill few days later my body start to decompose ... my neighbour smell the strange smell ... then they will call SCDF for forcible entry ... then my body will finally be found .... if this is true ... how pathetic my life is ..... hahah

anyway ... i think wat i want is a person ... who really cares about me ..... who can talk to me just about anything ...(prefer a gal ... course i am obviously not a gay ... guy and guy talking daily ... this just sounds too gay) ... how i wish that one day ... when i open the door of my home ... there will be someone who is close to smile at me and say ... "hey, u r back" "oh ~~ u r early today oh" or "wat made u so late today" .....

guess i am kind of sick of staying alone .... hahaha

Dragon Boat Festival

today is the annual Dragon Boat Festival again ... this is also another festival that i used to called "rice dumplings festival" when i was small ... cause this day usually meant nothing much to me except for my favorite dumplings when i was small ... i would just keep eating it one by one once my gradmum had made it ...

talking about my favorite dumplings ... this reminds me exactly 1 year ago when i was coming back from taiwan ... "her" mum gave me lots of dumplings cause she told her mum that i like it .... time really past fast ... just less than a year ....she and me are just like strangers to each other ...sigh ~~~ i am getting emotional again ... after half year ... it will means so much to me ... i think .. getting a new gf can help me to forget ... but how to have one when i dun even have time to rest .... hahaha ~~~

anyway .. i got receive a good news today ... my grandmum finally discharged from hospital ... even though i am not sure if she is still as healthy as she used to be .... but i will pray for her ...cause ... i almost spent all my earlier years with her ....she had taken care of me for such a long time ...i will hope to have her around forever ....

today ... in chinese tradition ... family will reunion just like the lunar new year ... even though i am alone here ... but still i wish all the best to all my families ... all my friends and all the people i know ...

lost...

last night ... during my duty .. a rare call from my mum ...i knew there was something even before i picked up the call ... but never did i expect that would be such a bad news

my grandmum is in the hospital for days ....from my mum's voice .. i know she was trying to cover her saddness ...so did i ...

i just felt so lost ...a person who used to be the one who always at my side when i was small ... slp with me, brought me around, bought me toys and snacks that my parents did not allow me to have ... is just like everyone else ... start getting old ...and i cannot do anything but staying here ... cannot even go back, c her and just simply ask her if she is feeling well

how much i hope that my ORD date is just within next few days ...

GOD ... pls pls ...let her recover well and back to an energentic grandmum like the one i always have.....

disappointed ... heart pain ah ..

when i heard he said that i have not been doing any work ... my heart was once more in pain after the breaking up late last year .... how could u say this !!!

yea ... how could u say this to me ... when i was the only one doing all the work .. all the other people could c that .. and yet u just could not c it ...was it because i am quite so u never found out ... or u r too busy to notice my work ... or u just simply have pre-justice with chinese (even though i dun like people to think that i am a chinese too ... hahah)!!

i was the one who went back to work during off days .. and the one stayed after office hours ... and yet ... u r saying the other guy is working more than me ... haha thats the biggest joke ever...

i can only say ...all his work .......come from his mouth !!

maybe this is the real working world .... but i am just fulfilling my national liability ....why working my heart and soul out ...?? cause its me ...i was born like this .. wat to do ... cause i always beleive the justice will always come at the end

hopefully ....